Being Hindustan is not about being sexy

When exactly are we going to discuss men who are rapists, not the Hindu/Muslim/Christian/Priest/Pope/Maulana/Boy/Juvenile, who rapes? When are we going to discuss that mentality behind that act of terror when a man uses an eight-month-old infant to derive sexual pleasure? When are the biologists going to explain the horror of this act? When exactly are the psychologists going to start the debate which explains the state of mind of these men? When men are going to stop discussing women and when the women are going to stop wanting to be discussed by men?

I saw Kareena Kapoor holding the placard in which she says she is Hindustan and is ashamed. I wonder when she became Hindustan. I am afraid, not all the girls who worship her for her famous Poo act have the privilege of calling themselves sexy in front of the world or otherwise, are proud of whatever they are and claim to represent Hindustan. Well, being Hindustan is not about being sexy but the world is definitely sexist. You do not become feminist by holding a placard saying that you are ashamed. This film industry which objectifies women in every possible way and these pretty ladies who let themselves be a part of this, cannot be ashamed. They do not have the right to shame. On all other days, they shame a small little girl for her dark skin or a small pimple in an ad for a fairness cream and then one day they project themselves as the well-wisher of the clan!

As a woman, looking sexy is one's right but using one's sexuality for business is not right. Morality is a very difficult trait to achieve. If you drive a car and promote cycle and expect people to follow you, then it is obvious you are a hypocrite. To be politically correct you just have to say that I drive a car but I would prefer a bicycle but to be morally correct you have to buy a cycle, ride a cycle and then promote cycle. If you are a feminist, do not buy a ladybird and say that you love riding avengers. Buy a ladybird, ride a ladybird and be proud of your feminism.

Wear whatever you want but do not expect a boy to appreciate you for a piece of cloth. It is tough to overcome the concept of lacy lingerie but wear it with dignity for the man whom you love not for the likes of strangers on social media. The idea of liberation is not that easy that you will achieve it by wearing a certain type of clothing or wearing a big Bindi on your forehead or by having sex before marriage or by having extramarital affair. Liberation is found in the soul, in the heart and in the actions which make a difference in the real world, not in the reels. Men should not judge women by the size of their skirts but women must not cut the length of their skirts to get acknowledged by men.

A so-called family daily soap shows a protagonist desperate for kissing his girlfriend? People idolize TV stars and when their role model can do anything for one kiss, why would not their fans do the same. The only difference is that the reel knows where to stop but in reality, immaturity takes over. Curiosity needs to be attended through education; else, it leads to experimentation.

What is the idea behind a girl wearing a bikini for the advertisement of cement? You want the advertisement to be seen and so you use a girl wearing a bikini, coming out of swimming pool. The cleavage is sold in the name of entertainment but when that entertainment turns into horror, TV stars hold a placard saying that you should have taught your hormones to respect women! Viewers are expecting entertainment from businessmen and these businessmen are expecting sensibility from the buyers.  When will we understand the negativity spread by the TV and the films?

I don't know how many parents are wise enough to understand this but the truth is that a boy picks her girlfriend at the age of five and his parents think that their son is doing great! They actually flaunt it, talk about it and the poor girl is supposed to stand behind him in every picture. I have heard it for many times. ''बताओ बताओ बेटा निशा कौन है? माय बेस्ट फ्रेंड", awww so cute!  "फिर प्रिया कौन है? वो तो मेरे सोना राजा की गर्लफ्रेंड  है न बेटा?" so when are we going to stop appreciating our son for his choice of the girlfriend when he is five years old, and when are we going to stop cursing the girlfriend that she trapped our son when the same son turns 25.

The rapists do not choose their prey on the basis of color, age, clothing or field of work. Rapists come from all sections of society and so does the rape-victims. Rape is not just an act of the moment, it is the result of the memories, it is the result of the endless numbers of justifications present in the society for the thought that woman is a thing, not a being.

Rape is as much a mental act as a physical one. It is not just a man who rapes, but it is the society in which he lives, commits the crime. The values in which he was brought up, the friends with whom he played, the family which encouraged him to do wrong or maybe never cared enough about what he did.                          

It is true that men are able to rape women because they are stronger than them, physically stronger. They always know that they are stronger but what enables them to commit the crime is their sense of assurance that sooner or later, they will walk free. There is a moral crisis as well, some think raping is normal, just an act of pleasure! Inability of our system to punish the offenders encourages potential offenders.

When are we going to accept that rapists are not cowards but animals, and are not meant to be a part of human civilization?

Men will be men. The world is never going to change. Women need to stop thinking that someone would fix things up for them. If you wear a mini skirt, do not expect a man to control his hormones but be prepared to use your scarf to strangle him if he tries to rape you. Do not expect Ekta Kapoor to teach morality to your children. Be prepared to be a strict parent instead. Be prepared to throw your TV out. Let us not categorize the rapists on the basis of their religion, age, and language. Be prepared to call a rapist only a rapist. Let us not expect that no one will take advantage of your children. Be prepared to punish the person who mistreated your child irrespective of the social status he enjoys. Do not expect your husband to be kind to you instead be prepared to live life on your own terms. Do not afraid to get raped instead be prepared to get divorced. 

Rape is not a crime of cast, community, religion or region. Rape is not a crime against humanity. It is an inhuman crime against women.

Rapists do have a religion but religion of the rapist is not responsible for rape. It is the man, just the man.  We have seen murders in the name of Gods but luckily, we are yet to witness a “rape” in the name of God! A Rapist is the man who lost his civilisational-instincts, who defied his social evolution of thousands of years and has become an animal, again.

As a woman,

Let us be prepared to fight against rape, physically and mentally, to survive it, to fight it, and, eradicate it! Rape is not a crime against the law of land; let us understand that it is a crime against the law of nature. Besides ensuring the punishment to the rapist man, as sanctioned by the law of the land, a step would be to raise our children, with high morals and sense of civilisation. Guide them when they still are our sons and have not become just another Man so that an act of passion does not become a crime of lack of passion. Let us not only discuss what happens after a rape, let us prevent it before it happens.